Not so much looking down as across..

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Thank Haven for Haiti

For anyone interested in the Camino, in walking it, or joining us, or just dreaming about it, I attach a copy of the story that I posted to my less active Blog - http://www.padraicmurraypilgrim.blogspot.com/ Enjoy



Camino de Santiago May 2011

Alea iacta est – the dice has been thrown – we have crossed the Rubicon

After six months wrestling with the idea of walking the Camino in 2011 – of walking the Northern Route, of walking the entire Camino Frances, of cycling, of being escorted, of being guided – I have made my decision. I have booked my plane tickets. Unlike Lot’s wife, there will be no looking back! I will start in France in St. Jean Pied de Port, travel through Pamplona, where I began a walk five years ago, and finish in Logrono our penultimate stop in 2006. All in all it’s a good walk of 160k – closer to 200k when adjusted for height and drink taken the night before.

I am flying out of Dublin courtesy of Mr. Michael O Leary (Ryanair) to Biarritz at midday of Monday 16th May and returning courtesy of Aer Lingus on Thursday 26th May DV (Deo volente...).

I have decided to raise money for an Irish Charity working in Haiti, called the Haven Partnership, chaired by Leslie Buckley who is a director of Digicel, one of the few companies making a difference in Haiti. The distance is approx 160km and I will ask people to sponsor me at 10c per km, or 16 euro. I intend following the progress of Haven on their excellent Blog http://www.havenontheground.blogspot.com/ . I may cover the journey on my Santiago Blog http://www.padraicmurraypilgrim.blogspot.com/ en route, technology permitting.

Haven builds excellent low cost housing for the people of Haiti. Haven believes that by giving people a roof over their heads, they can give people pride again. Haven is also training the local people to be able construct the houses themselves and pass on the technology to others.

Armed with the excellent guide to the Camino written by Johnny Brierley I have been planning my route. Johnny was a director of an auctioneering firm in Dublin in the seventies and early eighties before turning his back on Mammon and heading for the commune of Findhorn in Northern Scotland. Findhorn sounds like a fantastic community where people work for a living in sustainable jobs (no navel gazing, it would appear).

Here is the proposed itinerary:

Day 1 Fly to Biarritz. Take the bus to Jean Pied to Port. Remember not to eat or drink too much!
Day 2 Set out on the hardest stage - over the Pyrenees following the route of Napoleon – 24km but 30km adjusted for climb of 3,500 feet – I hope it’s not snowing!!
Day 3 Downhill from Roncesvalles to Larrasoana 27km – adjusted for climb 29km – not all downhill – obviously
Day 4 Gentle walk to Pamplona 16km
Day 5 Recover in Pamplona. I enjoyed my last visit to Pamplona in 2006 – a bit too much! At least this time we don’t have to try and wake the Cathedral sacristan to get a –‘passport’ or Compostela (hence the name). Pamplona is a good partying town, so early to bed.
Day 6 Another tough walking day to one of my favorite little towns – Puente La Reina – with a climb of 2,600 ft – 25km – adjusted for height – 29km. Puente la Reina is town with a Roman bridge where numerous Spanish trails meet and join on their way to faraway Santiago in the gentle green hills of la Galicia.
Day 7 We leave the Province of Asturias for Navarra and make our way to the little town of Estella. Did we see a corrida (bull stampede) the last time? Barry may help me out on this one. A modest 22km – 23.5km adjusted for height.
Day 8 We journey to another pretty town – Los Arcos - a distance of 21 kms (23km adjusted), passing through Villamayor de Monjardin.
Day 9 – Final walk – finishing with a big one – 29.4km to the city of Logrono – passing the marvelous and historic town of Viana
Day 10 – spent in either Logrono, quite nice, or Bilboa – more interesting.
Day 11 – Return to Ireland on the afternoon flight.

I hope as many people can join me for some or all of the way as possible. Some will want to support their own charities, some will support Haven and some may support none. Just because I am mad doesn’t mean that others have to follow.

A great website to join and find out more about the Camino is www.caminodesantiago.me/board . I get an e-mail every morning at 6.00am. It is worth waking up to.

I propose to make the pilgrimage as civilized as possible. I found out Day 1 in 2006 that there is an excellent taxi service where for 10 euro a day they will bring your bag ahead to your evening destination. As before I intend to stay in one and two star hotels or guesthouses. I know true pilgrims stay in hostels and snore and wash socks together. I simply don’t want humanity to suffer too much at my expense.

I am looking forward to meeting other mad people (pilgrims) en route and where possible some of the locals. It is a very demanding and daunting itinerary but I would like to smell the roses too. Like Paulo Coelho I hope to find my literary and spiritual voice. Unlike Paulo who has no interest in retracing his camino steps - I am looking forward to seeing familiar places again. I just hope the reality lives up to my fond memories.

In conclusion

Air travel - planned and paid for
Itinerary - agreed, just about
Compostela - try and find edition 2006 or write to Society of St James
Companions - to be pressed ganged
Fund raising - to begin
Hotel booking - over the next few weeks
Physical training - starting Weds in Tenerife 4 hours a day
Spiritual exercises - Mainly Quaker spirituality – starting tomorrow!
Ambition - to fund the building of at least one house to be named Santiago
Dedication Kevin A Murray 30th Nov 1920 – 9th January 1980

All suggestions will be welcome!

Monday, December 27, 2010

What car would Jesus drive?

What car would Jesus drive?
As a child I would lie awake in bed and listen to the cars as they made their way up Landscape Park in Churchtown. From the sound of the engine I was able to distinguish between a VW and a Ford, between a Renault and an Austin. Cars in the early fifties were different from each other.
I lost interest in cars a few years ago when they all looked and sounded the same. The only difference between cars was a price and a badge. Just as all trainers in the world are made in the same sweat shop in the Far East only to be distinguished by expensive marketing logos it seemed that all cars were made in the same factory only to be given badges when they arrived to the car dealer.
My interest was rekindled in recent days as I jealously watched four wheel drive and all wheel drive SUV’s purr past the rest of us mortals condemned to spend an eternity slithering up and down Newtownpark Avenue. I had always hated SUV’s on the basis they were ugly, they ran over young children without even seeing them, they nudged up at roundabouts and your couldn’t see past them, they encouraged in many drivers a sense of superiority, they were not fuel efficient, they were the equivalent of bringing your house on your back, and a few more... While all of these things may be generally true, I did feel a little stirring in the heart as they majestically trundled over snow, slush and ice.
A neighbour of ours, who hardly ever drives, was seen arriving and disappearing in a real SUV – a Land Rover – every ten minutes – or so it seemed.
And then Christmas arrived. Our first white Christmas – ever. Unless you were born pre 1947 in Ireland, you never had experienced the Bing Crosby heaven of a Christmas card scene. I drove down to our Friends Christmas Meeting. All nine of us arrived at 9.30 to see the caretaker emerge from an igloo he had built in front of the Meeting House. He and his wife had spent the night in a comfortable zero degrees while outside it was minus 6. Even at 9.30 in the morning it was registering minus 4.
On the way back from the service to a sleeping Murray household I spotted a big Volvo XC90 awd (all wheel drive) and wondered if it had not been remiss of me in our thirteen Volvos to have not at least considered one of these mountainous cars. And then, being Christmas, my thought moved to Jesus. What car would he have driven?
I felt I could immediately discount the Rolls Royce and the Maybach. He might have travelled in a Merc or BMW though. The priests would not have approved. But then Jesus had a habit of enjoying a cup of tea or a glass of wine with whomsoever he wished. But I cannot see him owning one. Would he have been more comfortable owning a Fiat Punto or VW Polo? I mused. After all Jesus did a fair bit of travelling. The Holy Land tourist agency would have been thrilled with him. So indeed would the bed and breakfasts and rural hotels, except of course when he spoiled it all by multiplying the loaves and the fishes. All in all though, he was good for travel and tourism generally.
Would he have chosen, like me, a nice safe Volvo? After all Volvo have been leaders in the field of safety and fuel efficient cars for over fifty years. Maybe a second hand Volvo Estate with three rows of seats that would have fitted the disciples as they moved from town to town? You can imagine the kind of Volvo I mean. It is about twenty years old and the tailgate has stickers from National Parks and Glastonbury, from Maynooth University and from Greenpeace.
Over the Christmas I travelled the galaxy of cars in my mind and came to the conclusion that Jesus was probably a public transport person. After all that!!
I can imagine him in scarf and heavy coat waiting for the 46A bus to arrive. He knows the bus conductor by name. His apostles half fill the bus. They will take the bus into town and the train to Cork to meet some Gentiles who live in the Southern part of Ireland.
I think Jesus would use public transport because it is more democratic. Cars insulate us and emphasize our individuality and separateness. Public transport would be the first choice of Jesus. Will someone else make the same discovery as me and rename their bus or train fleet?
As I look out the window, the rain has replaced the snow. That is progress. Next year I predict the hit single at the end of the year will be, I ‘I’m praying for a green Christmas’...

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Fighting for Irish Freedom

Last Sunday, just about this time, as we were enjoying the last few innocent hours of the weekend, little did we know that as we were preparing to sleep soundly, deep in the bowels of the Irish Times a truly shocking piece of economic analysis was being printed. The piece was written by Morgan Kelly, Professor of Economics at UCD Dublin and one of the very few economists in Ireland or indeed anywhere to have come out of the crisis with increased credibility. He correctly predicted the scope and scale of the property collapse in Ireland and shortly thereafter called the banking crisis equally correctly, unfortunately.

As we slept soundly in our beds this Apocalypse was hitting the printing presses. If we did not lose sleep last Sunday, we certainly did last Monday. While I agree with much of his analysis, I don't agree with all of his conclusions, many of which are political guesses and out of the reach of most mortal men. Professor Kelly makes the assumption that politicians may act like economists, and that is a big assumption. My guess is that the politicians are putting a brave face on the current chaos. They have no more a clue than we do, but they feel it would be uncaring to admit this in public. Modern finance, and indeed ancient finance, is built on confidence. Right now there is very little confidence, so when they tell you they what is going to happen in five years time they are mad or lying or both. Most politicians would do well to guess what might happen by Christmas. If a week is a long time in politics...

I do agree with Morgan Kelly. We are wtihin a few weeks of losing financial Independence. Morgan believes we have passed the tipping point. I don't. We can turn things round if....the Irish politicians can find a way of working together and seeing the awful budget of December passed. The opposition may think that by opposing the budget they will box cleverly. There will almost certainly be a new Government within six months although the composition is not likely to feature a Labour/Fine Gael coalition who cannot even agree the day of the week or time of day. But the new Government of whatever hue will be but the sub office of the IMF and the European Central Bank.

Many in Ireland are so close to capitulation that they are suggesting this might even be a qualified 'good idea'. Having the IMF in your sitting room is like your parents dying and being brought up by well meaning but stern foster parents who have every chance of killing the child in an attempt to make him better.

International financial intervention is a recent science and is where medicine was about two hundred years ago when the received wisdom was to blood let - to purify the body of impurities by bleeding the patient almost to death. I do not welcome the advent of the IMF, not because they are bad but because they are mad.

When I went to school in the simple monochromatic fifties and sixties in Dublin, all of Irish history was depicted as an eight hundred year struggle to gain independcne from the British. This often flawed and simplistic account at least saw the benefits of British culture, our roads, railways, towns, literature, music and so on.

What will the IMF bring to Ireland?
Answers on a post card.

Solution?
We have to regain the upper hand.
We have to be in a position where de don't need to go back to the bond market for two or three years.
Banking has always been that impossible science of lending only to people who really don't need it. We need to show that we don't need to borrow.
Like a spendthrift husband we need to cut our expenditure to match our income and live with the consequences.
Then we will have economic freedom and pride. The consequence may be that we cannot pay back some loans ontime as previously expected - but these can be renegotiated.
You know the story - it is very difficult to get a new loan from the Bank Manager when your track record is lousy, it is much easier to hold the loan you have and send a note of apology. What you have, you hold. Possession is, after all, nine points of the law.

We shall see.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Why less is definitely more


Why the recession may not be all bad news.

By way of Introduction

This recession is not all sweetness and light.
I do not wish to be insensitive to
- those who have lost their jobs
- those who fear for their jobs
- those in fear of losing their homes
- those who are forced to emigrate or whose loved ones are forced to emigrate
- those middle class who are struggling to put bread on the table
- those who are dependant on benefits that will be reducing
- those in the third world who are suffering more than ever
- those who were formerly rich of whom the majority were and are decent.
I am conscious that we are at but the start of a long, probably permanent and painful period of change and that we are unlikely to ever know the same level of material comfort. I hope to suggest that it need not be all bad, keeping in mind St. Paul who famously said - 'primum vivere, deinde philosophare' - 'we must live first and then philosophise' - Maslow would no doubt agree...:


1. The accelerating rate of consumption in the world was simply unsustainable. An exhausted world would soon have to give up trying to sustain a population of currently 6.9 Billion souls and growing at 6m babies every month. By reducing the size of our meals, more can feed at the table.
2. Looking through my wardrobe I find clothes never worn, my library contains over three hundred books of which less than 50% have been read, our garden hut is full of bikes no longer used, furniture that is surplus.
3. The developed world has too many houses and shops and offices and books and shoes and CD’s.
4. The underdeveloped world has too few.
5. We were running out of a raison d’être – just how many cars can we drive?
6. People at the top of organizations were getting paid one hundred times the wages of the people at the bottom. A scale of more than five times is madness. No human being's economic contribution is worth a hundred times another's.
7. Wealth was being transferred from the people who created it, from entrepreneurs, and from the workers to grossly overpaid hedge fund managers who created nothing and bank traders who created even less.
8. Families are learning to save for Christmas, for furniture and for holidays. The joy of saving and anticipating is greater than the unconscious spending of the noughties.
9. Children are being spared from over indulgence that was leaving them morally and economically incompetent.
10. We are rediscovering the joys of entertaining modestly at home where the food is often better, the wine cheaper and the welcome warmer.
11. We are more compassionate - realizing that our hold on wealth and health is but by a slim thread.
12. We are spared the nonsense of discussing house prices and our neighbors’ third skiing trip.
13. We are back looking for value and rewarding those who maintained price sanity in good times and in bad.
14. The joy of sharing has been rediscovered, a shared car trip into town, a summer home lent out, a pasta meal handed over a garden wall…
15. Our eyes have been opened to the fact that ‘nobody knows..’ not the Church, not the Government, not the economists. We realize that our ‘certainties’ divide us as humans while our doubts unite us.
16. We think twice about that trip to Cork, or London and the fuel it will use. We go on fewer trips that are more meaningful.
17. Driving speeds have dropped, at least in our area. We have the luxury of making a decision over a day when before it had to be in an hour.
18. We have discovered music channels on the radio and history channels on the TV and have turned off the incessant chat shows that take calls from unhappy people.
19. We have rediscovered that all the best things in life are free – peace, joy, love, forgiveness, birdsong, sunset and daffodils.
20. We have learned to be grateful for what we have got and to count our many blessings.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Suffer little children to come to me - later - maybe in 2015

Suffer little children to come to me – later
Welcome to the new children’s hospital
Coming to a town nearish to you, well near enough, well nearly near enough.
A Government which has no money announced today it was going to spend 650m it doesn’t have in closing down children's hospitals so as to build a new one.
Consultants were paid huge amounts of money to come up with some suggestions. Please name one disaster that has not been recommended by consultants. Your answers on a post card.
Why not ask the children or the doctors?
Too simple? Too cheap?
I have previously argued that we don’t need a general election, what we need is a national government.
Reluctantly I have to accept that the present Government is stuck in a time warp.
They have ended up believing their own propaganda.
No one can save them, not even their closest family.
Let’s have an election, and then form a national government.
Let’s buy a ticket to Brussels for every consultant and wish them well.
Let’s give the power back to the people
To the local hospitals and enterprise boards.
Let’s close down the HSE, and when we are at it FAS, and redesign Bord Failte and Enterprise Ireland.
Let’s start all over again.
I was visiting a sick child recently in Our Lady’s Hospital for sick children in Crumlin.
They are in the middle of building a brand new wing – because the need is urgent.
I half suspect they have figured out that the new hospital at the Mater site will never happen.
A little like the Bertie Bowl.
Mary Harney had the good sense to block that piece of political folly by Bertie.
Now someone needs to do the same to the MaterChildren's hospital.
I hear on the grape vine the promoters may struggling to raise a mere 25m for selling the most generous tax breaks I have ever heard of in my life.
If we cannot persuade people to invest 50k to get tax breaks of 180k how do we expect to get private donations of 100m?
It would assume that people still have the money. I doubt it.
It would assume that the new project generates goodwill. I doubt that too. On the contrary, the project seems to generate great reservations on the part of many excellent health professionals involved in children’s care.
The new hospital has a flawed image and no amount of sticking plaster will help it.
The project lost its chairman the past week.
Amazingly no statement has been made by the outgoing chairman, by the minister, by the HSE.
We have to assume the worst - that the chairman saw the game was up and there was no point in delaying the inevitable.
I have heard that the public car park would have to be built underground making it many times more expensive than surface or multi-storey car parks in other parts of the country.
People will not pay parking fees of 3 euro an hour to visit their sick child.
The Government has only shown expertise in closing beds wards and hospitals.
It needs to use the same expertise to keep wards open at a fraction of the cost of building a new hospital.
The world changed when the twin towers came down in a storm of apocalyptic dust.
The world changed far more subtly and far more widely when Lehmans came down.
We will never see the same level of money in our lifetime.
Maybe it is better we don’t.
We will have to learn, like the Cubans, to make old machinery work again and prolong the lifeof many things long beyond their planned obsolescence date.
After Lehmans we are living in the equivalent of a post nuclear financial world. If we don’t change - we will end up in the Dinosaur graveyard, assuming someone is kind enough to bury us.
Our children deserve better........

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Desperately seeking God

To see that of God in everyone

The expression ‘to see that of God in everyone’ is the most famous and most profound Quaker statement and aspiration. It is at once simple and complex, easy and hard. It may be difficult to see that of God in some people – Hitler, Stalin, a rival political party, a driver who has just jumped the lights and so on. At home the challenge can be more acute, a grandparent who is fractious, a sulking teenager, an alcoholic partner, a treacherous friend...

Jesus Christ deserves a paragraph to himself. For me he is the human being who best reflected in his life and teachings the most accurate picture of God. I do not believe he was God. He may well have been. It is not a matter of fact but of belief. I believe he was the special one, the anointed one (Christ), the Son of God. The post crucifixion followers may have overstated his claim, if he did in fact claim that he was God. I believe that Jesus was fully human, that he had a sense of humour and fun and sarcasm. Even the slightly sanitized Gospels bear this out. I believe he was probably celibate but it does not worry me either way. I believe he had doubts and made mistakes. I think it is unlikely that he sinned. Being human he could have sinned and may have sinned but I think it highly unlikely from what we know.

Jesus Christ deserves a second paragraph because I have totally failed to say what he does stand for and the relationship we can have with him. Because there is that of God in him so much more than any other human being, God shines through him and we can try and make out the outlines of God and move towards God. It is a God who is merciful and kind, the God of the prodigal son and the healed lepers. I don’t feel comfortable with Christ’s description of the God of hell which is a carry over from his Jewish upbringing. Hell is a wonderful symbol of how we can really mess up our lives on this earth and to the extent there is a life hereafter we may end up living in the straight jacket of our own making. This indeed can be loosely described as hell, but not literally. I believe over the past two thousand years through science we have been in a better position to say what God is NOT. God continues to reveal himself to every human being and in am improved way to the entire human race.

Jesus may have been restricted by the times he lived in and by his upbringing, as all humans are, but his reflection of God has never been equaled or bettered. He suggested that we should pardon our enemies and offer the other cheek, that we should enter the kingdom of God like children; that we should pray at the back of the Church; that we should engage with the foreigner; we should aspire to the joy that purity alone brings and above we should be of service to all men.

God reveals himself most fully in Jesus. God is also revealed in all other human beings, in some more perfectly than others. I see God in Buddha and Mohammed, in Darwin and the Aborigines. I do not believe in the concept of ‘being saved’ or the need to convert others to a particular religion. The only message of Religion should be to remind us that we are each a child of God. Our ability to find God is matched by our ability to loose him in the day to day tasks and preoccupations. The task of religion is not to form cliques of competing sects but to encourage people to find the keys that best open up for that individual the joy and love of God for them.

We have no particular need for priests or other vested interests to sell their ‘special’ or ‘unique’ way. Every human being is called to travel towards God and every one of us will die and revert to God irrespective or religion or lack of it. I have great empathy with humanists who despair of the competing religions who squabble among each other.

God is indescribable. We try through religion to paint a picture of him but often confect a distortion, and with every brush stroke we show less and confuse more. In those precious moments when we commune with the God within, all words and images fail, love and joy take over. Full stop. Very little more can or should be said.

Can we explain evil? Well I cannot. I have never used prayer to try and change outcomes, just to accept life and improve the world where I can. Prayer is losing ourselves and losing our demands. There is no need to tell God anything – he must already know it. There is no need to ask him to do a favour – he is infinitely merciful. When a child is killed or tsunami drowns thousands, I have no answer, no clever words, and no cooling balm. I am not convinced it is God’s will. How can we claim there is a god when there is so much evil? Very difficult.

However how can we explain love and joy without God – very difficult too?. God is the only explanation for me and for millions of others.

My human experience has shown that there is far more good than evil; that evil is the exception, not the rule. Most human beings are good and try to be good. Most of the time I try to be good. So while God seems to be absent in time of pain and suffering he is fully there in times of happiness and contentment.

Theology is a very inexact science, but so then so are economics and psychology or indeed any reflection on the human condition.

Anyone who says he has it all sussed is either mad or lying. If he asks for money he is lying, if not, he is mad. Some things are simple after all.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Pole-axed? You2?

A New National Government – the poleX Factor

Is it too much to hope that politicians might for a day cease being politicians?
Is it possible that from the ashes of the rag bag of cliché spewing politicians with a very small ‘p’ we might find a few Statesmen with a very big ‘S’?

The political party system which for many years served our country well is within months of destroying it. We are almost certainly going to get a General Election within 6 months which will provide us with more questions and no answers.


We need a General Election as badly as a man bleeding to death at the side of the road from a car crash needs another consultants report from the HSE. The poor dying man needs a doctor or a nurse who knows what they are doing. The last thing he needs is a detailed report, color coded, expertly produced in ten volumes in six months time to tell him exactly how the car crash happened and how he died.


What we need is a National Government to be selected in the most democratic way by way of a Poll, along the lines of the X Factor. We don’t need any more politicians, in fact we need less. We don’t need any more policies – we all know what we have to do in our heart of hearts. Now we have to get the best team on the field dressed in the Irish shirt.

Here are my picks 90% on personal ability 10% on political party legitimacy

Taoiseach Brian Lenihan (FF)
The most important job in the country needs the most able and committed person in the country.
Tánaiste, F. Affairs Enda Kenny (FG)
The nicest man in the country doesn’t mean the ablest
Community, Equality Eamonn Gilmore
My TD, very proud. Lovely man but keep him away from Finance!
Finance Ruairi Quinn (Labour)
One of the best Finance Ministers we ever had, time to bring him out of ‘retirement’.
Health James Reilly (FG)
My head ruling my heart on this one
Enterprise Richard Bruton (FG)
The only man to call it right.
Education Eamon Ryan (Green)
Hard working and well meaning.
Justice Dermot Ahern (FF)
Cool hand, steady nerve.
Transport Michael Martin (FF)
Ability and genuine likability.
Tourism Fergal Quinn (Ind. Senator)
We need someone who can genuinely sell.
Culture Michael D O Higgins (Labour)
A man at home in an Aran Sweater
Communications Michael Noonan (FG)
Communication? Straight talking? You got it.
Agriculture Caoihin O Caolain (SF)
We want a national Government? Then Sinn Fein must be there. Otherwise it lacks universal suffrage.
Banking Joan Burton (Labour)
A new post for a new national priority.

Possible Junior Ministers

Noel Dempsey (FF)
Probably worthy of a top seat but we ran out of chairs
Pat Rabbite (Labour)
Bursting with ideas, at times trips over them.
Eugene Regan (FG Senator)
Possible Attorney General
Leo Vradkar (FG)
Like a puppy, lots of energy but needs some training.
Dan Boyle (Greens, Senator)
Very possibly heaviest intellect in either Dail or Senate
Trevor Sergeant (Greens)
Too nice for politics?
Olwen Enright (FG)
Attractive AND intelligent, might reconsider resigning
Ivana Bacik (Labour)
We need a lady who thinks.
Simon Coveney (Green)
Potential to be top at the top table

What do you think of my choices?

Who would you choose?

Would Simon Cowell act as judge?

Could Facebook handle 3.0m votes?

I would like to pretend it’s a laugh, but it’s really deadly serious…..

Its now or neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr