Not so much looking down as across..

Thursday, July 1, 2010

You're not the man I married

How often have we heard this statement?, and wondered. Of course I am not the man my wife married thirty years ago. I was young then, I could run a marathon, stay up drinking all night. I am nothing like the man I used to be, I hope.

I used to be a big fan of Cliff Richard. I preferred him to Elvis in the fifties and sixties. We will never know how Elvis might have aged. It certainly wasn't looking too good. But am I the only one upset by Cliff's apparent inability to age gracefully? There is nothing wrong with wrinkles, crows feet and grey and receding hair - well yes if you're 20 but not if you're 60.

But on a more profound level are we spiritually the same people we once were? The Greeks spoke of the river that was never the same - the water we see now is different to the water two minutes ago and different again to the water in two minutes time.

We rightly keep our sense of inner self - to protect our sanity if nothing else. But at times do we guard it too closely? Do we become parodies of ourselves? Surely we need the inner courage to change - hopefully for the better.

I wonder if we have a number of selves during our lifetime. Not at the same time or we develop twin or multiple personalities. It might help to explain why people do change. If there is a heaven and if we get there, which self will we bring? The 10year old version or the 90 year old version.

I don't have an answer to these questions - as usual.
For now, Shalom! Be kind to yourself (ves) and others.


  1. I am guilty of making this statement and then realize and have to admit I am not the woman my husband married either. Of course we long back longingly at those times when life was "simple" and we were "sure." As we grow older, we become more aware of the pitfalls of life. You are right, we are all constantly changing. I really don't know if the me of yesteryear would know the me of today. I am thicker around the waist and my hair is a different colour!

    Thought provoking!

  2. Thanks Ann, the purpose of most of the blogs is to get us thinking. I used to know all of the answers, now I know only some of the questions!!
    I think, therefore I write!!( with apologies to Paschal)